skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I accidentally washed my hair with Gatorade this morning. Not sure why the bottle was in the shower, or why someone had written "Suave" on it with marker. As it turns out, it was not all bad, as my hair had never felt fuller, more athletic or carbo-loaded. Plus the added benefit of the ants it attracts. Their myriad tiny feet feel like a day long craniosacral therapy session.
Have you lost sleep wondering if Phineas J. Whoopee is planning to harm your family or pillage your 401K? If so, let me share something that helped me: Phineas J. Whoopee is only a cartoon character. Additionally, he was generally considered a "good guy". I cannot tell you the relief that revelation brought me. Of greater concern is the possibility that Boris Badenov may sell state secrets to WikiLeaks.
When I see food packaging that mentions "Mechanically separated beef and pork" I would like to think it means that there is a kindly robot that keeps the animals snug in their own pens. Something like Rosie, the maid from the "Jetsons", keeping a watchful eye on the creatures and preventing them from getting into mischief. That is what it means, right? RIGHT?!?
